lemme explain

In recent days, I've had a few close friends ask me about my blogging habits. More specifically, they were wondering why and giving me a hard time (jokingly, of course) that I haven't been blogging much over the last few months. I was a little surprised anyone noticed, or even cared really, that I wasn't posting on a regular basis. I mostly keep it light on my blog, writing about the things my girls do that I find funny, or documenting the moments I feel are memorable. To think anyone else enjoys reading my ramblings and claim to miss reading them regularly is actually quite hilarious to me.

It was because of this I decided to explain myself to my few avid reader and friends, who open my blog daily, patiently awaiting another post.

To say I've been busy this summer is an understatement. Between training for my 1/2 marathon, getting MOPS off the ground at my church, working part time (as a Realtor), traveling almost every weekend, and trying to manage being a Mom and Wife, I've had little to no down time. And with the little down time I have had, I've had NO energy to sit at my computer and write. Writing requires you to think, or at least it requires ME to think. And because I'm a slow processor, I'm not someone who can pound out an interesting post in a matter of a few minutes. It takes me a while and exerts a lot of brain power. Brain power I lack when I still have yet to get a full night of sleep (this is a result of a blue-eyed baby who still wakes up 2-4 times a night).

But even with a busy schedule, I've still found time to blog in the past, so my "busyness" is a lame excuse and a cover-up to the real reason I've been MIA.

It all has to do with the power of addiction. Addiction runs in my family, but I'd be surprised to hear of a family that doesn't struggle with addiction in one form or another. Fortunately, I've been able to rise above and make the right choices in my life to keep me out of any major trouble. My entire family is living proof that by God's grace alone, you can overcome addiction and not let it control your life.

But even with choosing the right path, so to speak, I still find that I have the tendencies to be easily consumed by certain things and find it next to impossible to break particular habits. If you see where I'm going with this, you won't be surprised to hear me admit the following:

Hi. My name is Amanda and I'm a blogging addict.

Once I started blogging last winter, I couldn't stop. Whether it was writing my own posts or reading and commenting on other blogs, I was wasting away hours at my computer every day. My thoughts were consumed by topics I wanted to blog about and I found myself drawn to the computer, opening up my favorite blogs on an almost hourly basis.

Before my blogging days, I'd spend a maximum of one hour at my computer daily, only using it to check my email and possibly the weather. I'm a busy body, a trait I inherited from my mother, and just the idea of sitting for more than 10 minutes at a time makes me bored. Because of this, I had no clue I'd enjoy blogging so much and that is would control me in the way it did.

Yes, there are worse things I could be addicted to. Way worse. But when blogging started taking precedence over my family and my commitments as a wife and a mother, I realized I had a problem. I realized I needed to make a change. I've also been dealing with a lot over the last few months, emotionally and spiritually, and knew I had to make certain sacrifices in order to not succumb to the stress and pressure weighing on my shoulders.

When my children are snuggled safely in their beds at night, I will push the urge aside to run to my computer and spend the rest of my waking hours blogging. I need to spend what little downtime I have doing the things that are necessary to keep me sane and happy. Those include devotions with my Lord and Savior, because without HIM, I would be utterly lost. Running, cleaning my house, doing the laundry, grocery shopping, doing bills and responding to necessary emails are just a few of the other things that top my list of priorities.

But with all that said, I still absolutely love my blog and totally enjoy reading other blogs. I've just learned to balance things a bit better, and I've found that my family and I are better of this way. I have a feeling you'll be hearing more from me in days to come, though, because a couple weeks ago I sent Ella off to her second year of preschool and I now have three afternoons a week where I'm left with 2 hours of down time.

Sigh. Down time. It's been a long time coming!